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另一半不想聽到的那些事

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1. "We need to talk."

1. "我們需要談談。"
Even if you really do need to talk, this isn't a great way to start things off. "It always means that there is going to be a difficult conversation, and it's probably not going to go well," says Jill Murray, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist and author. "The fear of the unknown and the accompanying dread makes it worse."
即便你很想和他/她談一談,這句開場白也并不合適。"因為這意味著接下來的話題將十分沉重,且最終進展可能并不順利,"持證心理治療師兼作家吉爾·莫里(Jill Murray)博士說道。"對未知的擔心以及隨之而來的恐懼會使談話更加糟糕。"
2. "You should know how I'm feeling."
2. "你應該知道我的感受。"
No matter how well your spouse knows you, they probably can't guess your exact emotions. "Humans aren't natural mind readers," notes David Bennett, a certified counselor and relationship expert. As Bennett explains, most people can't actually tell what someone is feeling if they're not told, even if that person is their spouse.
無論另一半是否了解你,他/她都不太可能猜出你的真實感受。"人類并非生來就會讀心術,"持證顧問兼情感專家大衛·班內特(David Bennett)指出。班內特解釋道,如果一個人未明確說明他/她的感受,大多數人是猜不到他/她的想法的,即便那個人是你的另一半。

另一半不想聽到的那些事.jpg

3. "Relax!"

3. "放輕松!"
"In the midst of something tense, the word 'relax' from your spouse only ramps things up," says Mitzi Bockmann, a certified life coach. Heed her advice and avoid this directive at all costs.
"另一半在劍拔弩張時說出的'放輕松'只會讓事態更嚴重,"持證生活教練米茨·博克曼(Mitzi Bockmann)說道。謹遵她的建議,并不惜一切代價避免說出這句話。
4. "You talk too much."
4. "你太啰嗦了。"
Dismissing your spouse as a chatterbox when they're animated about something is a backhanded way of breaking down communication. It's completely reasonable to expect to say your piece, but it's never a good idea to tell your spouse that they have to zip it for you do to so.
當另一半對某件事侃侃而談時,對他/她不理不睬是中斷對話的反面教材。雖然直言不諱合情合理,但讓另一半閉嘴卻從來不是好主意。
5. "You're just like my ex."
5. "我前任也像你這樣。"
Comparing your spouse to a past lover can be hurtful, even if they're not usually competitive or jealous. "Most times in life, comparisons are unhelpful to us psychologically," explains Alex Hedger, a cognitive behavioral therapist and the clinical director of Dynamic You Therapy Clinics. "Comparing a partner to a previous partner often causes fear and resentment. It can also prevent the partner who is making the comparison from experiencing their current relationship fully."
即便從另一半的通常表現看,他/她并不好勝或嫉妒,但將他/她和前任作比較則十分傷人。"生命中的大多數時候,對比不利于我們的心理健康,"認知行為治療師兼動態自我治療診所(Dynamic You Therapy Clinics)的臨床主任亞歷克斯·海杰(Alex Hedger)解釋道。"將另一半和前任作比較通常會帶來恐懼和憎恨。而作比較的一方也會受到影響,無法全身心地投入這段戀情。"

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重點單詞   查看全部解釋    
psychologically [,psaikə'lɔdʒikəli]

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adv. 心理上地;心理學地

 
prevent [pri'vent]

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v. 預防,防止

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previous ['pri:vjəs]

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adj. 在 ... 之前,先,前,以前的

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current ['kʌrənt]

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n. (水、氣、電)流,趨勢
adj. 流通的

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counselor ['kaunsələ]

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n. 顧問,參事,法律顧問 =counsellor

 
heed [hi:d]

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n. 注意,留心
v. 注意,留心

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competitive [kəm'petitiv]

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adj. 競爭的,比賽的

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avoid [ə'vɔid]

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vt. 避免,逃避

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unknown ['ʌn'nəun]

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adj. 未知的,不出名的

 
therapy ['θerəpi]

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n. 療法,治療

 
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